I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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