My liver just broke up with me...
my mouth tastes like poor choices
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
