Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
