my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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