i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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