i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
