I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
