The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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