have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
