Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
