Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
