Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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