If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
