you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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