there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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