if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
