so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize