He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize