we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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