haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
