I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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