Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
