you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
