i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
