Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
