My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
