I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
