She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
