Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
