She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
