Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
