Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I faked an abortion last night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
