I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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