I wannas sexs uuuuu
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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