as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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