Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
