He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize