Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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