We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
