I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
