I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
