he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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