its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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