Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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