I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
