chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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