can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
