hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
