just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
