Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
