and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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