is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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