So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
