You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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