that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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