Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize