I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He has the fingertips of a God
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