My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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