There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
someone threw a dead crab at me
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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