38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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