I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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