she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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