You're a womanizer and a bitch.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
