everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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