The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
