Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
