If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
