it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
