the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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