some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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