I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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