No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I deserve this hangover.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
