Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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